Americal Thinker

 

By Pete McArdle
​​​​    Michelle Obama and I don’t agree on much.

    She admitted she was never proud of our country until her husband was elected president, whereas I’ve always been a proud, patriotic American, even after I passed my Army physical during the Vietnam War and while I waited with bated breath for an induction notice which, thankfully, never came.

    She blamed her lack of an Afro or jerry curls on racist white America, while I blamed no one for my straight, lank locks.

    Moochelle, as Rush Limbaugh famously called her, recently railed against having to have a hairdresser, a makeup artist, and a stylist on call at the White House, calling it an annoying necessity for scheduling purposes, and definitely not a luxury.

    I wouldn’t know. I’ve never paid more than $25 for a haircut, there’s no makeup in existence that would help my face, and I wouldn’t recognize style if it bit me in the seat of my threadbare scrub pants.

    So, imagine my surprise to learn that the former First Lady and I both have absolutely no use for the Lightbringer, the One, Barack Hussein O., nee Barry Soetero.

    If Barry embarrassed me as an American, constantly apologizing to the world for the United States’ many past transgressions, he no doubt also humiliated the former First Lady, with her wide fundament and linebacker shoulders, by throwing out the first pitch at a White Sox game like a seven-year-old girl with a sore throwing shoulder.

    If I was often irritated and confused by all the attention Pres. Obama gave to every possible sexual orientation and all seventy-eight genders, Michelle must have had a fit when Barry’s love letters to an old girlfriend came to light. In them, he confessed to “making love to men daily” in his imagination, a sentiment no red-blooded, heterosexual man has ever expressed.

    And although my forty-year-old marriage isn’t perfect, I’ve had precious few occasions to question my choice of spouse, nor would I ever air my grievances in public. Michelle, on the other hand, told the world back in 2022, that “there were ten years where (she) couldn’t stand her husband.” Perhaps Barry was simply too bicurious for her.

    Ms. Obama has also stated publicly that she was glad she never had a son, because he would have been just like Barack. I, too, am glad I never had a son like Barack, someone who hates his country, his Caucasian genome, and above all, telling the truth. Obama’s signature legislative achievement, the Affordable Care Act, was a monumental lie. You couldn’t keep your doctor, you couldn’t keep your insurance plan, and it certainly wasn’t affordable.

What proof do I have then, that Michelle Obama, like me, has absolutely no use for the flimflam man who declared that his election to the Oval Office would heal the planet and stop the rise of the oceans

    Well, Ms. Obama blew off President Jimmy Carter’s funeral, citing scheduling conflicts, she no-showed President Trump’s second inauguration because all her dresses were at the cleaners, and she recently ghosted black hero Jesse Jackson’s funeral service, just because. How embarrassing for Barry O.!

    I mean, Hillary Clinton would probably like to neuter Slick Willie without benefit of anesthesia for all he’s done to humiliate her. Yet, she found the time to support the former president at all the important events listed above.

    Michelle Obama couldn’t be bothered.

    It’s crystal clear that in addition to the United States, white people, Republicans, and straight hair, Michelle hates her husband.

    And while I don’t hate anyone, hate being an emotion that damages and degrades the hater, I do agree wholeheartedly with the former First Lady: Barry O. really sucks.