Hilarious: Keffiyeh-clad coffee shop workers vote to unionize, find themselves out of a job by week’s end


    As if we could have any less confidence in the intellectual capacities of the modern keffiyeh-clad leftists, they go and do something like this, then declare their “shock” at the outcome:
    

    On a side note: A human blimp who no doubt supports illegal and unwarranted land seizures (evidenced by the shemagh draped around her shoulders) chanting about a “greedy side” is peak irony.

    Sure no one in their right mind would have ever accused a group of people like this of being even remotely aware or educated, so it’s not like one would think that they really have any idea as to how a market works and what a small business might do if they get a “whiff” of unionization, but I was under the impression that episodes of The Office, and the jokes contained therein, were like a second language to the Millennial and Gen Z generations—being saturated in the bread and circuses of Netflix and all—and relatively known by large swathes of Americans. And Jan, the hyper-intelligent but self-destructive corporate “Godzillary” (a mix of Godzilla and Hillary Clinton) shuts down union talk with a very memorable monologue from the warehouse steps:

    

    Excuse me. I’ve been told there’s been some interest in forming a union and that Michael supported it. Obviously he’s not a friend of yours because he didn’t tell you the facts. So let me. If there is even a whiff of unionizing in this branch, I can guarantee you the branch will be shut down like that [snaps her fingers]. They unionized in Pittsfield and we all know what happened in Pittsfield. It will cost each of you a fortune in legal fees and union dues and that will be nothing compared to the cost of losing your jobs. So I would think long and hard before sacrificing your savings and your futures just to send a message. If you have any further questions you can direct them to... to Michael.

The hefty gal with the three face piercings at the beginning of the video laments how employees had received “really bad wages” which in Pennsylvania, must be at least $7.25—but this is a minimum wage job we’re talking about, they’re baristas! I mean, it’s not like they’re splitting the atom, or performing a task that a trained monkey couldn’t do—I was a barista once, when I was 18 years old and home from college for the summer. It’s not supposed to be a career but a temporary job, because it’s not a livable wage.

    Another keffiyeh-clad gal feels shocked and “crushed” at the closure, because it comes just one week after the workers had announced their plans to unionize. In other words, just days after these expendable employees engaged the services of an organizer and voted to hold their employer hostage until certain—and with just one look at them, you know unreasonable too—demands are met with the possibility for future recurrences, the employer canned them all and closed the business. Here’s what someone in the comments astutely noted:
    “Unionizing a job you can train high school students to do in a week is always a bad idea.”

    I’m confused as to how they expected anything else—but the schadenfreude is delightful.

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